by Leila Dayne
Look…we have to talk.
It’s not me…it’s you.
I let the Amber Rose thing slide…because we all knew it was just a phase. You weren’t ready to settle down. And I assumed this whole KIM thing was the same, but now you’ve really gone and done it. I once heard this song, “18 years, 18 years. She got one of yo kids got you for 18 years. Now I ain’t sayin she a gold digger…but she ain’t messin with no broke…” OHHHH riiiiight, THAT WAS YOUR OWN SONG!!! We all just thought it was the jam, but maybe you were just predicting the future!!
We’ve had so many great times together. Remember back in 2001, I fell in love with the production you did on Jay-Z’s album The Blueprint. (YEAH!! BACK THEN!! I was the one who was paying attention!! You think Kim knew your production value?! How truly amazing you were?! Do you think she waited around for YEARS after hearing only a few verses from you for you to FINALLY drop a full album?!? I DOUBT IT!!!!) I cried when I heard about your near fatal car wreck. (The one most people didn’t even know about until they heard you rapping with your mouth wired shut on “Thru the Wire”.) We had a beautiful, simple love during The College Dropout and Late Registration. I pimped you out to all of my adoring friends for so long that these were perfect ‘I TOLD YOU SO!!’ albums. You made me so proud!! You brought us ‘Go’ by Common and one of my favourite The Game songs ever, ‘Dreams’. We had the ‘Glow In The Dark Tour’ which was amazing. Thing got a little weird with 808’s & Heartbreak, but I TRUSTED you. I listened to it more, and in time it grew on me!
We made it through all the trouble and controversies and I stood by you and defended you every time!! When you yelled at Bush…I understood your plight. When you were mad at MTV and Britney Spears…I backed you, even with my long standing love of her. I SIDED WITH YOU!! THAT MEANS SOMETHING!! And the whole Taylor Swift thing…yeah, you were right but you just can’t go around taking stuff from little girls, even if your point was right. Even if they are sad and weird. But I still stood by you. I stood by through all of your weird fashion choices…what with the leather kilts, the awkward hoodies and the strange masks. I even defended you.
But this…this was a low blow. I just don’t know how we will make it through this one.
You will always hold a place in my heart and I will cherish all of our good times, but I think it’s time for me to try and make things work with my ex Pharrell again…or hold out for a Timbaland comeback.