Yesterday Part One

by Leila Dayne


Yesterday, for the first time since starting this blog, I didn’t post anything.

I tried…I really did. But I just couldn’t find the strength.

On top of dealing with a current emotional situation, I had a rain cloud of sorrow about me all day. It’s something that’s hard for me to talk about, but I know it will be cathartic if I do.

There are two days that shipwreck me every year. September 21st and April 7th.

(I began writing out this story and realized I would have to break it up into at least two parts…if not three. It’s so draining going back through all of these emotions and experiences. So please, bear with me.)

I was 16 years old, starting my senior year of high school. I was 5′ 2″ and weighed barely 90 pounds. I was little, but muscular. I was always a joker and even back then I used humor to deal with everything that life threw my way. High school was great for me. I wasn’t super popular but I was liked and was involved in dance team and cheerleading in school and dance and gymnastics outside of school. I had amazing friends and partied a little too much. But never to the point of getting into any real legal trouble (unlike a lot of my friends). I had a ton of friends, but my “family” was a close-knit group of about 10 of us. We were inseparable. It was probably unhealthy looking back. We spent all of our time together and on the chance we were apart we passed the time calling, texting and IMing each other. Texting wasn’t what it was these days. There was no unlimited texting or minutes at that time so much of our time was spent on the phone after 9:01pm with each other. As that’s when your free minutes started.

Going into senior year, I was on cloud 9. Everything in life was great and I had an amazing boyfriend, DC. Things had started out rocky for us. I’m kind of known for my short temper and hot headedness. When DC moved to our school in the middle of our freshman year to say we didn’t mesh well at the beginning would be an understatement. We butted heads CONSTANTLY. Routinely drawing a crowd in the hallways with our shouting matches. We ran in the same crew but did our best to avoid each other. Then one day something happened. Our group planned a day trip a couple of hours away and somehow I ended up having to ride there with DC. (I was always younger so I couldn’t drive until right before my senior year.) Of course it ended up being just the two of us. We screamed for the first 25 minutes of the trip with him nearly running us off the road at one point from not paying attention to the road. We decided to be quite and just listen to music. He popped in a mixed CD (these were THE COOLEST back then, I promise!) and I rolled my eyes and turned to look out the window hoping to fall asleep or zone out until our destination was reached.

The first song began to play…it was Paul McCartney singing Yesterday. Growing up I was raised on amazing music by my dad and The Beatles were some of my favourites. No one else I knew listened to them. I could physically feel my body began to melt into a relaxed state that only music can give me. And then DC began singing along. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard. It wasn’t perfect and he didn’t sound at all like Paul McCartney but it was how he felt the words. I began to tear up and we looked at each other. And in that moment the whole dynamic of our friendship changed. We had found our common denominator. Something special that only we shared. We spent the remainder of the ride engrossed in the music and screaming the lyrics at the top of our lungs. Laughing until tears were streaming down our faces. As we pulled into our destination, we realized we were the last to arrive. We hoped out and hugged and he carried me piggy back style over to the group as we continued laughing and talking about music.

Our friends jaws hit the floor as we approached. Here were two of their friends that they had worked constantly to keep apart for fear of us tearing each other apart and we were laughing it up like pals who had known each other since kindergarten. The shock and relief in their eyes was a welcome sight.

From that day forward, DC and I were inseparable.

That’s all I can manage for now, but I’ll be finishing up Part Two to post up tomorrow.

All My Love,

LD